Not done one of these in a long time, but thought I'd share because I think this one is actually rather funny. It was done for a forum I've recently joined, and is exclusively PG, but otherwise translates absolutely fine. It's long, but hopefully people might enjoy it. So:
This is one of those memes where you number 10 characters, then answer a variety of situations involving those numbers. How wacky and zany and all that. To be more interesting, every one of the following characters is from a completely different universe of mine.
6) Happy Jack
8) Barn Burner
10) Mr Hartwood
Hopefully the fact that not a single one of these has even met the other will increase the fun
1) 1 and 3 are sitting at a table for tea, what's their initial reactions?
Kidel would sit impassively, trying to stare Goldview down, and any conversation would be steered directly to the point of their meeting (and there WOULD be a point of their meeting. Because Kidel is there). Goldview would be trying his hardest to make as much money out of the situation as he could, but for once in his life may be finding it difficult. Kidel is probably not interested in what Goldview is selling, no matter how many cities it could destroy.
2) 6 moves in on 1. What's 1's reaction?
Hah! One of them would end up dead. Probably Kidel, the first time he demands Happy Jack sleep on the floor.
3) 8, 2 and 9 are in a mall with no money and they're surrounded by people.
Kevin is used to that. He used to be homeless. So... if he was desperate he might get out his guitar and start busking. Then the rest would depend on Barn Burner's mood. If he was feeling particularly down, he might just wait it out, but if he was in the mood for it, he'd probably go rob a bank. He'd tie up the security guards (at which point Kevin would get out of there. He'd probably call the police, but he has his priorities straight). Barn Burner would then get ready to set the guards on fire, and Gabe, in one of his only genuine moments of selfless bravery ever, would march up to Barn Burner and punch him in the stomach. Either Barn Burner would go down, or he'd be upset that a child just punched him and he'd give up and write in his diary about how terrible the day has been.
4) 9 and 10 are buying flowers for the same person. What's their initial reaction?
Mr Hartwood realises that some scruffy child is trying to buy flowers. So he decides to buy them. All of them. He buys all of the flowers, and Gabe glares at him. While Hartwood is off somewhere being smug, Gabe breaks in and steals a handful of the flowers anyway. Then he steals Hartwood's wallet, and spits on the seat of his car. Then he goes home and brags about it for 3 years.
5) 5 and 7 are taking a shower, what's happening?
... together? Max probably doesn't think anything of it, he's always naked except for his collar anyway (dogs are like that). Matt is admittedly also an animal, being a weasel, but he's more anthro and as such usually wears clothes. He's probably embarrassed at first, but then... erm... well I want to keep this PG so I'll just say Max only comes up to Matt's waist. So Matt has nothing to be shy about.
6) Quick! 8 has walked in on 5 and 7 in the shower!
Barn Burner does a double take, because it's not every day you see an anthropomorphic dog and weasel in the shower together. Then he torches the place. Which is hard with all that running water, but he manages it anyway.
Max's security guards tackle Barn Burner on the way out, and Matt sues him. Because he's a lawyer.
7) While 8, 5 and 7 are busy, let's see what 1 and 4 doing in the hot tub.
Liz lies back in her bikini casually twirling her hair, discussing the bar she owns and how she'd love to see Kidel in there at some point, asking him if he'd seen the game last night, and talking about that time she stopped a murderer using nothing but a ticket book and the help of a 6ft mutated rat.
Throughout this, Kidel frowns impassively past her, arms folded, hoping his armour doesn't rust in the water.
8) 10, 9 and 2 crashed 1 and 4's party in the hot tub.
Kevin and Gabe immediately get into a fight over who gets to sit next to Liz. Kevin shouts "You're just a kid, you wouldn't even know what to do with her!", to which Gabe replies "Yeah, whatever, she's not going to go with a kangaroo, is she? Besides, I've had loads of women, I have".
Meanwhile, Mr Hartwood averts his eyes (how improper it would be to stare at an Irish woman in that way, he thinks to himself) and Kidel stomps off to check on his horse.
9) 1 is kissed by 6, what's 1's reaction and how does 6 take it?
Oh... oh dear... I mean oh really dear...
This is the kind of thing horror films are made of...
Happy Jack has a gas mask permanently fixed to his face to a) help him breathe and b) cover his horrific scars from a lifetime of working with chemicals, and probably also a few wounds from gang wars and assassination attempts.
So for Happy Jack to kiss Kidel, he needs to take off his gas mask. He immediately starts to die, but for whatever reason decides to smooch Kidel with his dying breath. Kidel presumes this evil creature to be a zombie, and smites him. With a sword. Through the chest.
10) A jealous 5 saw 6 kiss 1.
That... actually makes sense. Matt sits watching a disfigured old dying man lurch towards a fully armoured knight who growls and waves a sword, plunging it through the old man's chest, blood spurting everywhere.
"I wish my life was that romantic"
11) 10 just grabbed your (the author's) hand to tango, rose in mouth.
Hahahahahahaha! Awesome! I would nervously remind him that I am male, and go on to suggest how pretty Maggy has been looking recently.
12) 3 just got home from a long day at work and heads to bed only to find you (the author) in it.
Goldview hides his surprise with a warming smile, subtly pressing the "Security" button on his wrist computer and making a mental note to fire every single one of his guards. He then proceeds to persuade me that I definitely need that very expensive "being born for a second time" insurance, which I pay for just in time to be thrown out of the 50th story window.
13) 8 is having a sleep over. Who's invited?
14) An uninvited guest has arrived to crash 8's sleepover.
Before or after he burns all his other guests? If it's before then they're more than welcome, they can settle down between that living scarecrow and the can of gasoline with a face drawn on. If it's after... they're probably police.
15) An event like no other takes place and 1 and 2 get into a battle to the death. Who wins?
Kidel is a trained knight. Kevin is a lazy alcoholic kangaroo.
So... I'm going to call a draw?
16) 3 throws a slumber party but only invites one person. Which character did they invite?
Goldview only invites Hartwood. Because Hartwood is rich. When Hartwood leaves, he is either a) Goldview's new business partner or b) no longer rich.
17) 1 wakes up in the bed with a random character of your choice!
Kidel wakes up in bed with Liz. He glares at her, then asks her firmly to leave. After watching her do so, he dresses back in full armour before climbing back under the sheets and holding his sword. You can't be too careful about these things...
18) 3 gets into an accident. What were they riding? How did it happen?
Oh blimey. A helicopter probably, and it was no doubt shot down by one of Goldview's many, many, many, many, many, many, many enemies. Let's say the Technocrats? He sold them some rather overpriced vehicles recently, and then sold their mainframe security codes to a gang of anarchists because he didn't like their attitude. So he's probably dead now.
19) 5 and 4 are locked in a closet together. What would 10's reaction be when he/she found them?
"I say, Truman."
"Look in the closet, do you see this awful servant girl and this weasel?"
"Be a good lad and kill them for me, would you? And set the damn table properly, that knife is clearly skewed to the left."
20) For whatever reason, 7 decides to kiss 2. Their reaction?
Kevin pushes Max away and spits, rubbing his mouth.
"Look, if you're that way then fine, but I get enough of that from my own mate, alright, I don't need you trying as well"
21) 5 has a drink in a bar and discovers 10 is a strip dancer.
Oh gods. Brain bleach. Matt would probably feel very awkward about the fact that he'd wandered in to an elderly men's gay bar, but he'd be worried that if he got up and left now everyone would think he was homophobic. So he'd probably stay there for the whole show, gripping his seat and praying that he wasn't focussed on. And obviously throughout the show Hartwood (who is a strip dancer for whatever reason, sure) would mistake Matt's discomfort for... something else. So he's go up and give Matt a personal dance. And someone would take a photo. And it would go online and get viral, and Matt would never live it down. The end.
22) So 5 was completely drunk and wakes up in a bed next to... 9 and 1!
Matt is immediately arrested for soliciting Gabe, who is clearly underage. This leaves Gabe and Kidel in bed together. Kidel glares at Gabe, then asks him firmly to leave. After watching him do so, Kidel dresses back in full armour before climbing back under the sheets and holding his sword. You can't be too careful about these things...
23) Something exploded and now 2, 6, and 8 are genderbended! How do they react?
Huh... Kevin would hide away somewhere, and... keeping things PG, he'd hum and twiddle his fingers until things got better. (But not really. Just take a wild guess what he'd actually do)
Barn Burner would immediately assume it was the work of a new superhero and go around trying to capture existing superheroes and threaten to kill them unless they gave him information (not even with fire. He'd be THAT angry)
Happy Jack would act as if it was his plan all along, and that he'd always been a woman. If any of his high ranking generals so much as questioned it, or even stared in the wrong way, they would be slowly dipped in acid. In public, of course.
24) 1 suddenly feels an urge to chase after unicorns. What does 3 do to help him/her?
Another rather fitting one. Kidel probably needs a live unicorn for some magic being performed by that character who's name I forget but who lives in the woods (the unicorn wouldn't be harmed, don't panic). Goldview would probably provide him with a silent, wood-capable, camouflaged mech with net-shooting capabilities, as well as a team of wild animal capturing mercenaries. When they caught the unicorn, they would kill Kidel, capture as many more unicorns as possible, then return to base, start a breeding program, and sell the rest (but not until they'd killed one for meat, at insanely high prices, of course)
25) 8 is being chased by evil toys in a locked toy factory with a pen as his/her only weapon. Does he/she survive the night?
He probably could, if he'd had enough warning about it, or had some reason to mentally prepare for living evil toys. However, if he was caught by surprise he'd probably collapse into a ball and cry pretty quickly.
26) 5, 7, & 10 are having a picnic. Suddenly a giant pink donut falls from the sky. Which one of them is likely to get hurt by it?
Matt. I'll save you the trouble and assure you that any question including the number 5 and any variant on the phrase "who is likely to be the worst off because of this event?" will result in the answer of Matt, purely because Matt.
27) 10 found a Death Note! Who dies?
Any servant on a bad day, any worker who doesn't do their job properly or who dares to ask for a break or pay or for (hah) rights. Mrs Hartwood, if she doesn't watch her tone, Maggy, if she keeps putting on weight, that awful Mrs Dillingham if she ever dares to stop his nepenthine supply again, Mrs Dillingham's terrible older daughter, and Mrs Dillingham's awful younger daughter, but only if the younger daughter ever refuses to go out with Jonathan, Mr Hartwood's son, ever again.
That's about it.
Oh, anyone else who's "just terrible", or who ALSO runs an armaments factory. Which reminds me, any of those bloody pacifists. And those nutters in the government who are trying to end that war with India. And don't get him started on the yanks...
28) 1, 2, and 4 are staying in 9's house while the house is surrounded by zombies! Wait, what do you mean 1 was bitten by a zombie?
Oh... how boring... Kidel prays for a cure, and if he receives no response, he does the honourable thing and kills himself. Then Kevin and Liz both get eaten, because Gabe is a child and doesn't own a house.
29) 7 found a time machine! What does he/she do?
Oh, what doesn't he do? Well, stop Hitler or do anything else that may benefit mankind. Not out of spite, it just wouldn't occur to him to do so (Simon, his best friend who is also a fox, may mention it at some point). So... he'd probably "go back to the invention of the squeaky toy!"
30) 3, 4, and 5 decided to rob a bank. How does it go?
If Goldview has access to his vast wealth, it goes perfectly, since he buys them a team of insanely skilled mercenaries. But let's say he doesn't, because that's more interesting.
So... Goldview goes in first, and charms the security guards into leaving their posts by ensnaring them with the best damned bullet-proof vest pitch they've ever heard. Liz would then enter in her police uniform, and take up position. Finally, Matt would charge in with a machine gun and a balaclava, start to scream "EVERYBODY, HANDS IN THE -" and trip over an old lady. He'd apologise profusely, then accidentally fire into the air, apologising to everyone again. By this point Liz would be feeling very sorry for him, and go over to calmly explain how to rob a bank properly. Goldview, sensing the missed opportunity, would already be in a meeting with the bank manager selling them a new security system including tactical nukes and an orbital space cannon.